матвей кайнер.
laughs but is really sad inside.

When I was ten years old, someone told me about this band, Radiohead. They sang about not knowing who you are, or where you belong to, or being a creep. I didn't know then I'm gonna end up like this. 'Like this what?' - Like this, writing poems about existential crises to a person who never lived long enough to experience the age when you get to know this funny sense of not knowing yourself. Hilarious, huh? No, it's not. You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs, cause every time I see you, something inside me is cruelly shattered, and you'll never be able to put those broken pieces together. Moles don't think about space, and no human should ever feel like it's gonna be better without feelings. It's not. Kissing you feels like falling off a bridge whose constructor was never really sure in his projects because your lips are made of silk words, and even when they shake I still believe my soft touch can warm you a little bit. The World consists of little parts, you know, and all the big stuff is made of tiny ones. You are literally the bravest person I've ever met; loving me it's like riding a fairy wheel, 'cause it's good and fun, and it excites you lot but not when you keep doing it every day. Routine gets annoying, and no one is excited by grocery shops anymore. Everything new will get old and dull someday, and so will I even if I'm still an eleven-year-old child. There's a whole world out there, please don't be scared going there, exploring it - this is the way we always lived, 'cause no new islands would be discovered without previous exploring of an unknown land.

You are the unknown territory for me, I am a persona non grata in each iota of your body, but there are no coastal troops inside you to catch me, and I'm the runner, 'cause I keep running from myself every day and every minute. If your body matches what your eyes can do, then you'll probably move right through me in my way to you.

The anchor tights me close to you
but, I hope, someday a casual sandstorm will set me free.